February 26, 2002
Up until that infamous Tuesday afternoon, life had been comfortably chaotic. My husband and I had recently moved back home to Florida from the frigid Midwest with our 1 year old daughter. She was a pretty easy kid so, apart from new mom syndrome and the stress of house building...well, like I said....comfortable and chaotic.
That particular Tuesday though, life took a nutty turn.
Wanting my daughter to "graduate" to feeding herself (instead of the never ending slice and dice of making up her finger foods), I was given a Smucker's Uncrustable PB&J from a friend with assurance that her same-aged daughter can handle them just fine.
So, on that fateful afternoon, I gave her 1/4 of the sandwich. While opening the package, I noticed that the label had the words "wheat" and "egg" and "peanut" bolded in the ingredient list. How odd. What on earth? Ohhhhh, must be that some people are allergic. Wow. How nice of Smucker's!
That little brain dance may have saved my daughter's life.
She took a bite of the quarter of sandwich I gave her and put it down. Wasn't really interested. Maybe she doesn't know what to do with it... Little bites, Sydney. Go on. She tried another small baby bite. Definitely did not like it.
After she moved on to a few Cheerios and some juice, I stopped bustling around the kitchen and sat down with her. Wait a minute...no...it couldn't be....what the heck?...are her lips swelling? Whaaaat?
Having just taken a peek at that generous labeling of Smucker's, I had a little niggle, a little twitch, in the back of my mind. Is THIS an allergy? But it can't be! People can't be allergic to FOOD!
I placed a quick call to the pediatrician.
I just gave my daughter a peanut butter sandwich for the first time and, I don't know, I'm sure she's fine, but...her lips look a little....swollen.
Ma'am, you need to hang up the phone and call 911.
But I just want to bring her in. She's fine. I'm sure.
MA'AM, you need to hang up the phone and call 911 NOW
Can I talk to the doctor? I can be there in 20 minutes.
MA'AM, YOU NEED TO HANG UP THE PHONE AND CALL 911 NOW!
That receptionist saved my daughter's life.
Before the paramedics arrived, Sydney had already vomited twice and had a constant gag (I now know her throat was constricting). Of course, upon their arrival she appeared fine. They teased me about being an overreactive new mom. But we'll take you to the hospital if you want to get her checked. Ummm.... YES!!!
When an infant or small child is taken in an ambulance or through a hospital, they try to keep them comfortable by placing them on Mom's lap. So I had to lay on the gurney. I had to sit in the wheelchair as they took us to triage. Sydney sat on my lap facing the paramedics (not me) just taking it all in. I never saw the swelling until much later when one eye was swelled shut, the other was nearly so, and my baby was unrecognizable.
The guys got us to the triage nurse who was clearly overwhelmed with incoming patients. But they never left my side. She wasn’t paying attention to us and they didn’t walk away. Again, men who saved her life.
The guys finally got in a pissing match with the nurse…
This baby needs to be seen, now.
That’s nice. I’ve got a lot of people ahead of her.
But she needs to get looked at right NOW.
Look, I’ve got a possible cardiac in the waiting room!
AND YOU’VE GOT AN ANAPHYLACTIC RIGHT HERE!
Anna Phil What?
Into the ER we were finally whisked. Sydney was hooked up to all kinds of monitors and it took forever and a day to get the IV into that tiny little vein. When the doctor yelled for intubation STAT, I knew we were crossing into a realm never before dreamed of in my little universe.
When it was all said and done, Sydney lived. And for every day from that to this, she has lived with the knowledge that a single misstep could bring her to the brink, or worse, again.
Until now.
After a lot of research, a lot of discussion (and a lot of creative finances) Sydney is going to undergo Oral Immunotherapy for peanuts. The goal is to allow her the freedom that most of us enjoy. Freedom to eat, fly, visit, kiss, live. Without fear. Without having to ask a million questions. Without having to feel different, excluded, strange, weird. She will, finally, get to focus on just being the wonderful young woman that she is.
it's been how many days since Feb 26th 2002 - still I'm in tears going back there. My thoughts and prayers continue for Sydney to overcome and triumph over her anaphylaxis. (I can't bring myself to call something that can cause death an "allergy".) So proud of you Carolyn for all you are, all you have done, and all you do.
ReplyDeleteI know. I had tears running down my cheeks writing it. Over the years I've gotten to where I can tell her story without crying. Being so close to bringing it to an end though, well, it's really overwhelming.
DeleteI'm so happy our daughters are friends. I hope it lasts a lifetime! A REALLY LONG lifetime! Guess what…you are brave too! We will follow the updates and always pray for her safety…(and yours!)
ReplyDeleteI've always told Sydney that being brave doesn't mean you're not scared. It means you persevere even when you are terrified. Under that definition, I do believe I qualify. ;-)
DeleteI am thankful for you and M every day. Sydney will be a lucky girl indeed to have such a lifelong friend.
I'm so glad our daughters are friends! I hope it lasts a lifetime. A really LONG lifetime! And guess what…you're brave too!! You probably never wanted to be this brave, but obviously you've passed it on. We will follow your journey and always pray for her safety (and yours too!)
ReplyDeleteI can not read this one post. My heart can not take it. BUT...we are following from North Alabama and so excited to see what the future holds for Sydney the Brave! Sending positive thoughts and vibes her way!
ReplyDeleteThank you, Julie! You've been part of this journey since nearly the beginning. I think all of our friends are going to be just as ecstatic as us to finally be rid of this allergy.
ReplyDeleteI remember when Mom called me that day you rushed her to the hospital. I was traveling for work in Phoenix, in my rental car, driving to HR training. Everything is a blur after that. I don't remember much of the day. I didn't understand. I felt so helpless being so far away from you all, and just wanted to be there in the hospital with you. I was so scared. I'm so proud of YOU, for your strength and determination over the past 12 years to keep. her. safe. I know you've had a very hard road to travel on. Sometimes people get it, sometimes they don't. But you've surrounded yourself with such loving, understanding friends, and for that, I'm grateful. I'm just as proud of Sydney, who gives your definition of bravery - tangibility. She *is* bravery. Incarnate. I love you both so much.
ReplyDeleteYou got the waterworks going again, Chris. :-)
ReplyDeleteYou're right, it's not always been easy. But every day I am overwhelmed with gratitude to our friends and family for making her road a little less bumpy.
Very well written! Both of my children (10 and 7) have severe food allergies also, and unfortunately, I too know that fear. I would love to hear how the OIT goes! We are in the Tampa area.
ReplyDelete